What do you do when you’ve been diligently working on yourself for months (maybe even years) and suddenly, to your utter horror, it seems as if your entire world is falling apart? Out of nowhere you lose your job… Your spouse or partner announces they are moving on without you… Friends stop calling…
What do you do, and more importantly, what do you THINK if that happens to you?
In early 2016, I added some deep-level inner-work (meditation) to my own self development practice, and my coach warned me about this very phenomenon. He said that once you start working on yourself and experiencing the inner change that naturally results from this kind of practice, it is not at all uncommon for life to become very chaotic for a time as things that are not in alignment with the person you are becoming begin to fall away. His exact words were, “Everything that is not based in love will start to fall away.”
It’s no secret that I am a very regimented, highly disciplined individual. So, when I started this new practice, I committed to doing it every single day (and I have not missed a day in well over a year), so I started seeing and feeling changes fairly quickly. And I started to experience the exact thing my coach described. Business relationships that I thought were solid with people I considered to be my friends started to unravel, and I couldn’t understand it. I kept running through every exchange in my mind… WHAT had I done to drive them away?
I was on a plane heading home from an event and was dozing in that place where you’re not really asleep, but you’re not awake either. Once again, I was mulling over this deteriorating relationship and how I could “fix” it, when all of a sudden my coaches words came back to me as clearly as if he were sitting in the seat beside me.
“Everything that is not based in love will start to fall away. And when it does, you have two choices… You can either try to FIX it and return back to the old self or you can keep going and know that it is falling away to make room for something even better.”
I was trying to “fix” something that needed to be allowed to slip into the past because it was no longer a vibrational match with the future I was creating. In that moment on the plane, I felt 100% at peace with the situation and released it.
I know that sounds all “new age-y and woo woo,” but how many things are we all clinging to simply because they are safe and secure and comfortable, but which really are not serving us any longer? Relationships? Jobs? Material things?
AND an even bigger question, what might be waiting for us on the other side of that safety and security and comfort if we just made space for them by releasing the things that are better left in the past?