I woke up the other morning and all of a sudden and without warning I was hit with a flood of thoughts that brought up a bunch of memories that triggered a set of emotions that quite simply overwhelmed me for a few minutes before I fully realized what was happening. It was crazy!
During my eight year pity part this used to happen almost every morning, and I would lay there in my bed and bathe in the waves of negativity and the sadness that washed over me again and again and again. It was like it almost felt “good” to feel so “bad.”
Of course now I know that I was quite literally emotionally addicted to those feelings and my subconscious mind was very good at getting it’s “fix” right from the get-go each day. However, I didn’t know anything about stuff like that back then, so – just like a drug addict with a needle in her arm – I took the hit day after day after day.
Angie and I were just talking yesterday about this very thing. In her case, she gets hit with memories that evoke feelings of shame – things that happened in her past life that she was ashamed of: people she hurt, things she did, things she didn’t do, etc.
I think we all suffer from this to one degree or another. Knowing about emotional addiction certainly explains why it happens, but what do we do once we are caught in its grip? How do we pull out of the nosedive once we start spinning out of control?
The first thing I do is look around me and find something to be grateful for in my life. Every morning my puppy, Kona, right there beside me in bed and I can always look at her and see her tail start wagging and get her sweet “good morning” puppy kisses and that’s usually enough to make me “feel better now.”
And that’s the key – FEEL BETTER NOW – whatever makes your mood turn around. And, I can tell you this – in the midst of the chemical dump of negativity, you are not going to WANT to feel better. You’re going to want to sit and marinate in the emotions you’re feeling in the moment. Because (say it with me), it feels GOOD to feel BAD in that moment.
At the end of the day we have to recognize that the accumulation of all the decisions we’ve made in our lives have brought us to where we are in our lives right now. If there is even one thing about your life that you love, then isn’t it all worth it? We can’t change the past – it’s gone, over, and done. All we can do is move forward into the future doing the very best we can. And yet, so many people allow their unalterable past to replicate itself in their future.
Don’t do this to yourself. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to repeat their history.
Acknowledge your past… Learn from it… Become wiser because of it… But don’t be defined by it!
YOU get to create your future story and it can be as big and bold and beautiful as you want it to be! TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life! What are you going to do with it?